kolkata

Complex family histories

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I had the sudden realisation earlier today that it is the fourth anniversary of my Dad’s death. It’s no longer at the forefront of my mind as it was before – the scab has grown thicker and much more difficult to dislodge. The anniversary is something I have been reminded of a few times over recent days, but then partially forgot again. Maybe this is a self-protective thing, as I no longer see the value of going back over that week again and again.

Lately my mind has been much more on trying to understand the context of dad’s family history, which carries a lot of colonial baggage. My dad was Anglo-Indian – it’s not really a term he would have used himself but I have come to understand since his death that this is what his family were. They were in India for many generations, I’m not exactly sure how long but there were certainly some of our European ancestors there by the late 1700s. As with most of the AI community there is some mixed ancestry there – something which didn’t really get talked about. The names and details of the Indian women were rarely recorded – they were typically given new Christian names in order to marry European men. There are a lot of silences and gaps within the narratives of this history.

There’s a lot of complexity around this history and community which I find challenging – they generally saw themselves as a cut above Indian people and aspired to being as British as possible. They weren’t especially liked by the Indians, who they tended to stay separate from, but were also looked down at by the British. In some ways they were collaborators with an empire which was bleeding India dry – they were the administrators which made the whole thing possible. Some AI families remained after Indian independence in 1947 but many left, seeing no future for themselves there. My great grandmother stayed behind, along with two great uncles but all those with children moved to the UK so we have no relatives there now.

I don’t quite know how to make some work about this but I think I’m building up to it slowly.

  1. My dad visiting the site of his childhood home in Kolkata (now demolished)
  2. My dad and I
  3. My DNA’s ‘ancestral regions’

I love old photos

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I’ve spent yesterday recording some of my dad’s memories about his family and his childhood in India, where his family lived for about five generations prior to the 1950s. It was quite interesting to then take a look through my grandmother’s photo albums from the 1930s. I never really met my grandparents but i have spent time in and around Kolkata, where these pictures were taken. So much unfamiliarity and yet it all feels very familiar.

Holi unexpected

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I have no real reason for posting these images except that I came across them the other day and writing about portraiture and people’s self-consciousness in my last post made me think of them again. This young girl lives in a shack sandwiched between a railway and the ghats, or riverbank, in Kolkata. It was late afternoon on the day of Holi (March 09), when Hindus throw coloured powers at each other…hence the state of her. What we found curious at the time was the way she held herself. It’s normal for Indians to hold your gaze, unsmiling, while you take a photo of them. But this girl, a rag-picker, held herself with the poise and self-assurance of a fashion model…quite unexpected.